So, let’s chat. How’s your mental health holding up?
I ask because we’re currently living in a challenging time in history. At the turn of the decade on New Year’s Eve, I’ll bet absolutely nobody predicted that by March time we’d all be forced into our homes and told ‘you can’t go outside unless absolutely necessary’. At first, I felt kind of refreshed by the idea of self-isolation. For the first time, I was able to work from home. No commute. I could spend all my time with my boyfriend who I’d normally miss for 8 to 12 hours of the day. Sounds great!
I didn’t expect it to last for (as of writing this) 6 WEEKS! Of course, it’s not going to end at 6 weeks either. I’ve done a complete 180 from the beginning of lockdown. I just want to go outside. I miss going out for dinner, and drinks, and seeing my friends! Although it pains me to admit it, I even miss actually going into the office.
The Mental Health Rollercoaster
A lot of you reading this might find this next sentence relatable… I genuinely don’t know how I really feel. On some days I wake up feeling fine, sometimes great. My energy levels are high; I’m grateful; I’m ready to take on the day and get shit done. Then, on other days, I wake up and I feel terrible. There are times where I can’t stop thinking about how all my plans were cancelled. I can’t celebrate my birthday, I wasn’t able to celebrate my first year with Aidan, I haven’t been able to spend time with my sister and nephew, my holiday was cancelled. Although rationally, I know I’m not the only one. Literally everyone is in the same boat. Others have it worse. But all I can think is, “Why me? Why has this happened now?”
After moping about it for a while, I’ll then fall on the side of guilt. People are losing their lives. Losing loved ones. Yet I’m the one getting upset over superficial problems like these. Doubt: Are these problems superficial? Clarity: I’m lucky to be alive, and healthy, with a healthy family. I’m grateful.
Start again.
Social Media: The Enemy of Screen Time Stats
This week I’ve spent around 15 hours on Instagram alone. This last week has been an off week for me as well, so I haven’t posted as much or interacted with people as often as I normally would. Yet somehow, I’ve still managed to sink 15 whole hours into this one app. As a blogger, it’s to be expected that I would spend more time on social media than someone who doesn’t blog, but why does it make me feel so… Uncomfortable?
There are 168 hours in a week, and 40 of those I spend working from home which leaves 128 hours. I spend 56 hours of the week sleeping, which leaves me with 72 hours of actual free time. Take my 15 Instagram hours away from 72 and I’m still left with 57 hours. That’s 57 extra hours in the week I spent doing other things away from social media. Yet somehow social media seems to consume everything I do.
I’ll be the first to say that I am so bloody thankful that we have the technology we have to get us through this. I can’t imagine where my mental health would be if I couldn’t video call people or send someone a quick message. I love the escapism that social media provides. Seeing people live their lives in a way I can only describe as ‘business as usual, but at home’ is really refreshing. Show me your shopping hauls! Show me your outfit of the day! What are you eating right now? I will consume anything that gives me the sense that I’m living in a world that isn’t being ravaged by it.
Productivity Shaming Is Tone-Deaf and Does More Harm Than Good
I’m sure we’ve all seen those posts: “You have been blessed with all of this free time, and you guys are just laying in bed until noon and watching Netflix?! Pull yourself together! Start your business, invest in yourself, learn a new skill!”.
I feel like these types of posts usually come from a place of kindness to try and motivate you, but is it necessary? Most of all; is it necessary for someone else to have to reword the same phrase in a new tweet so it goes viral day after day? The more we get hit by these motivational sentiments, the more pressure it applies to get you to do something. It becomes less motivational and begins to sound judgemental.
Not everyone is in the headspace to ‘follow their dreams’, and not everyone has the time. I’ll admit I have been massively sucked in by this pressure to DO WHAT YOU LOVE AND PUT YOUR ALL INTO IT but failed to see until recently that I’m not part of this group of people that have that free time anyway? I got sucked in and as a result, burned myself out on it. I would work my regular job 8-4, and then ‘work on my dreams’ from 4-9 at least, only to fall asleep at 10 or 11 after a couple of hours of ‘me time’, just to wake up at 7 and do it all again the next day.
These unsustainable habits occurred by giving too much weight to the tweets of strangers. It’s not unproductive to relax. If you need to spend some time relaxing, playing games, watching Netflix, just do it! Don’t be like me and forbid it for the sake of ‘your dreams’. Absolutely nobody achieved their dreams by killing themselves with work.
So, How’s Your Mental Health Holding Up?
Does any of the above ring true to you, and if so, what parts? Have you allowed yourself to be productivity shamed by strangers on the internet into burning yourself out? Just… How are you feeling?
Feel free to leave a comment sharing how you feel below, or if you prefer more privacy, my DM’s are always open across my social media channels.
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Love, Flossie ♡
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